


Goodnight, Kaoru-kun

by aroundu



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 06:14:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,575
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21911299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroundu/pseuds/aroundu
Summary: "Get some sleep, Kaoru-kun. I'll be at my desk if you need me.""Um." Kaoru looked into Rei's eyes. "Can you stay?"
Relationships: Hakaze Kaoru/Sakuma Rei
Comments: 6
Kudos: 118





	Goodnight, Kaoru-kun

**Author's Note:**

> thank u j for editing help !!
> 
> context for this is that it's in rhythm link dormitories. that's all there is.

Kaoru wasn’t sure what he was doing. He didn’t know why, after his failed attempts to fall asleep, his feet had decided to drag himself to Rei’s door. It was well past one in the morning, but light was shining from underneath the door. Though that was expected- Rei always talked about his nocturnal sleeping habits. 

So, Rei was definitely awake. He was probably working on idol stuff for Undead, like new songs or choreography. Something far more important that what Kaoru was going to bother him with. 

Kaoru sighed. 

To knock or not to knock.

Knocking would mean bothering Rei and keep him from working, after all these were the only hours of the day he had energy to do real work. But Rei would talk to Kaoru too, wouldn’t he? He’d have the energy to maintain a conversation beyond some weird cryptic saying and _kukuku_. Kaoru didn’t feel like talking to anyone, yet his brain didn’t regard Rei as just anyone. Rei was Rei. Weird, old, vampire, unit leader. Well. That’s what he wanted people to think of him at least. 

Okay, Kaoru decided. A small knock- a light tap. Just to make this trip worth it. He raised his hand, trying to stop the shaking of it, and tapped it against the wooden door. Kaoru waited, wrapping his arms around himself and hiding his trembling hands.

This was stupid. This was so so stupid. Kaoru felt like a little kid knocking on his parent’s door so he could crawl into bed next to his mom-

Kaoru sucked in a shaky breath and hastily wiped at a tear that escaped from his eye. This crushing feeling in his chest, the desperate aching loneliness that plagues him all hours of the day. He wanted to avoid it. He doesn’t want to deal with this. He just wants- He wants- He can’t have what he wants. Sleeping is the next best option. Better than this grief.

The door opened.

“Kaoru-kun?” Rei stood in the doorway. His eyebrows were pinched as he looked over Kaoru’s pathetic self. 

“Ah… H-hey, Rei-kun. Um.” Kaoru swallowed hard and tried to get his voice steady. “Just uh. Seeing if you were awake.”

Rei’s eyes stared into Kaoru’s and Kaoru felt as if his whole soul was on display for Rei, with how vulnerable he felt. The incessant voice in the back of his mind begged him to just walk away now and pass it off as sleepwalking in the morning.

“Why don’t you come in,” Rei said, stepping aside and opening the door further. Kaoru didn’t respond, he feared if he opened his mouth again his voice would crack like some pre-pubescent boy, or he may start confessing his entire life story...Or start confessing something else, for which Kaoru did not have the energy to even think about right now.

Kaoru paused when he stepped into the room. He’s been in Rei’s dorm before to pick songs up, but he’s never lingered. Looking around at everything was soothing, especially when the only light turned on in the room was a lamp on Rei’s desk. Much better than the typical fluorescent lights in the ceiling. The posters on the wall- UNDEAD album covers, a 2wink promo poster, some other fellow units from Yumenosaki, and then some other posters that looked like some punk bands from America. Kaoru’s eyes roamed across Rei’s desk, noting the opened laptop and notebook that meant Rei was awake and doing work, and ended on Rei’s bed.

“It’s sleeping hours for humans, why don’t you lay down.” Rei went to his bed and pulled out the covers and fluffed up the pillows. He turned his head to Kaoru, who remained by the doorway. Rei patted the bed, insisting that Kaoru come over, and Kaoru obeyed if only because the comfort of Rei’s bed was overwhelmingly tempting.

Crawling into the bed, Kaoru shimmied himself under the blankets and laid his head back against the pillows. He reached for the blankets to tug them over himself, but Rei beat him to it and already began lifting the cover over Kaoru’s shivering body. Rei’s gentleness in tucking Kaoru in already made him feel calmer, his shoulders relaxing and tension leaving his body.

Rei’s hands lingered a moment longer on the covers before he stepped away. “Get some sleep, Kaoru-kun. I’ll just be at my desk if you need me,” Rei said. Kaoru reached out to him before he realized what he was doing, his hand weakly grabbing Rei’s arm.

“Um.” Kaoru looked into Rei’s eyes. “Can you stay? Like, you know. I can scoot over.” Without waiting for a response, Kaoru already shifted over in the bed and opened the blankets up for Rei. It was long and the width of a twin size, and any other day Kaoru would detest sharing such a close space with a guy, but he needed comfort tonight. Every part of his brain, minus the lingering voice of his father, craved intimacy. He’s never asked Rei for anything like this before, and Kaoru fears he’s ruining everything by asking.

Rei placed a hand on the now open spot of the bed. “Okay, if that’s what you want.” 

Kaoru moved over more as Rei climbed into the bed beside him. He stayed close to the edge, likely attempting to give Kaoru space even when he was the one that invited Rei in. Kaoru hesitated, but scooted closer to Rei, lowering his head onto Rei’s chest and closing his eyes, hoping it would ease his embarrassment. 

Kaoru couldn’t focus on anything else other than his own heart beating, surely loud enough that Rei could hear. Rei’s chest was warm; the fabric of his sweater was soft and it felt like laying against a pillow. 

“Kaoru-kun,” Rei murmured, the sound vibrating through his chest and coaxing Kaoru into taking a deep, calming breath.

“Mm.”

“Not up for talking?”

“I…” Kaoru opened his eyes and turned to look up at Rei. “Just not about the important stuff.”

Rei smiled softly. “Hmm… Well, I’m thinking of adding piano tracks into an upcoming song.”

“Like Darkness 4?” Kaoru squinted at him.

“Similar, but more classical. I enjoyed Darkness 4, and I’d like to incorporate other instruments. Maybe a violin. Or a tuba.”

Kaoru laughed at the absurd imagery of Rei holding a tuba. “A tuba? Rei-kun, that’s a bit…”

“A saxophone then?”

“That’s not very classical.”

Rei chuckled, the sound vibrating through his chest. He raised his hand and brushed it through Kaoru’s hair. Kaoru didn’t have much interest in cats, but he felt like he was two seconds away from purring like one.

“Ah, well. There’s still time for me to think about it.” Rei’s hand fell from Kaoru’s hair and to his back, rubbing small circles into it.

“Were you busy? I can-” A yawn escaped passed Kaoru’s lips. “I can leave.”

“Stay, Kaoru-kun. Get some sleep.”

Kaoru’s eyelids were heavy but he didn’t want to sleep just yet. He wrapped an arm around Rei’s chest and played with the fabric of the sweater with his fingers.

“Sorry, I’m so all over the place. You must be pretty annoyed with me,” Kaoru mumbled.

“I’m never annoyed by you. I care about you.” Rei’s unoccupied hand moved to meet Kaoru’s. “I can tell you’ve been lacking rest lately. A bit antsy too. Is everything alright?”

Kaoru sighed. “I don’t know. I’m fine. Like I’m just overthinking a lot. Or, well, it’s more like I’m stuck in the past.”

“Stuck in the past?”

“I know I’m moving forward. Doing things with my life. I’m doing all this work, but it just feels fake. I don’t deserve an easy life like this.”

Rei’s hand paused on Kaoru’s back. “Being members of the agency, we do have access to free counseling. I know this deprecation has been around for a while, so it wouldn’t hurt to use your resources.”

“Heh. Me. In therapy. That’s real funny. Ugh. It’d be soo unmanly.” Kaoru hoped his carefree demeanor was flippant enough so that Rei would ignore the crack in his voice.

“It’s not a weakness to seek help, Kaoru-kun. Where did you get an idea like that?”

Kaoru squeezed his eyes shut to hold back his oncoming tears. “My father. He’s awful. I know he’s full of it, but it’s hard not to constantly hear his voice berating me for everything I do. It’s even his fault that I’m so…” His eyes burned and hot tears dropped from his eyes. “It’s because of him I hate being around guys. I don’t hate men. I’m… I love girls, but I also, you know. I-” Kaoru’s voice cracked and dug his cheek into Rei’s chest. “I like both. And because of him I feel so disgusted with myself.”

Rei didn’t respond, or at least Kaoru didn’t hear a response. He was too busy full on crying into Rei’s chest. His fingers clutched Rei’s sweater as he cried. He felt Rei’s arm across his back pull him closer. Rei said something then, Kaoru could feel the vibrations through his chest, but Kaoru only heard his own gross sniffling.

Kaoru wasn’t sure how long he cried, just that at some point the ache in his chest became a pain in his head. Rei had continuously whispered comforts to Kaoru throughout, and eventually his hand found Kaoru’s. Even their legs intertwined as Kaoru drifted to sleep. 

“Goodnight, Kaoru-kun.”

**Author's Note:**

> reikao (:  
> here's my [twitter](https://twitter.com/AOlHlNATA)


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